Guest Post: Justin Ordonez

Today I have a Guest Post from an exciting new author!

Author Bio: Justin Ordoñez was born in Spain, raised in the mid-west, and currently lives in Seattle. He's nearly thirty years old, almost graduated
from the University of Washington, and prefers to wait until TV shows come out on DVD so he can watch them in one-shot while playing
iPad games. For fifteen years, he has written as a freelance writer, occasionally doing pieces as interesting as an editorial, but frequently
 helping to craft professional documents or assisting in the writing of recommendation letters for people who have great praise for
friends or colleagues and struggle to phrase it. Sykosa is his debut novel.

The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award and the Devolution of the Species.

I’m a confident individual—not cocky or anything, just I’m fine with the unknown, and I don’t (in what is one of the biggest advantages to adult life) fall victim to swings in esteem dictated by writing, girlfriends or sports. I have a belief things work out in the end, so I don’t bother pretending I know the whole plan. I suppose I was used to this quiet serenity, as comfortable with it as I am the jeans I wear too often between washings, that I took it for granted, and didn’t realize how fragile confidence (and sanity) can be. One day I’m the Zen master of my little slice of reality, and the next I’m livid, and like Jack Nicholson when he turns into a really really big jerk in The Shining. Also, I’m in a crosswalk, cars stopped for me on both sides, and surrounded by people who do not know I’m about to surrender to an adult temper-tantrum the likes of which have not been seen since medieval times, when you could get serious about your crankiness.

The industry refers to it as the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award.

I call it the Destroyer of All Things Good and Pure and Beautiful.

Let me expand on this.

People have read my writing, I don’t mind sharing it, and I enjoy getting feedback. That said, I’ve never seriously pursued traditional publishing. For one, all the authors I know in the industry rarely speak highly of it, and two, you can’t make enough money to justify what they’re gonna do to your book. Basically, I’m still Busch League at this whole publishing game, even the self-publishing one, and in sharing my work on such a broad scale, which is why, when I decided to self-publish Sykosa, I put myself through a vigorous mental and spiritual routine meant to strengthen me for the task.

I thought I was strong as steel.

Little did I know, the Destroyer of All Things Good and Pure and Beautiful had me in its sights.

Part of the University District in Seattle, a tiny café called Café Allegro has its entrance down a murky, garbage filled alley. It’s the kind of place you almost never find in real life, but characters on TV are always taking hot dates to. “Just ignore the plague diseased rats and that dead hobo, if we go a bit further, I swear, there’s a nice restaurant where I’ve made reservations for us.” I was meeting up with a friend, he was explaining the contest, how to enter, and said, “Submissions end this weekend, you should do this.” In the past, I had investigated the contest, but I never had a document ready for it. This year was different. And I was mentally and spiritually prepared…remember? At home, I typed up the entry forms, a quick synopsis of the book, submitted it, and then—believe it or not—forgot about it. And when I say, “forgot,” I don’t mean in the, “I’m actively trying not to think of it,” sense. I mean in the, “I’ve lost my car keys, but I’ve also forgotten I own a car, so I never look for my keys and wonder when that jerk is going to move his car from the front of the house,” sense.

Weeks pass before, as I’m innocently crossing the street, heading from one meeting to another, I decide to use my smart phone to check my email. There it is. “Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award – Second Round Selections Announced‏.” I think, Oh yeah, it’s that thing I entered. Being a smart phone, I need to use my fingers to resize the website so I can locate what I need, and during this, I review the contest in my head. It’s the first five thousand entries cut down to one thousand. The top twenty percent make it. Then, it finally happens. The most dangerous thought a person can have. What a joke! Of course, I’m in the top 1,000. I reach the PDF file of those moving onto round 2. My last name being Ordoñez, it’s once again a bit of finger scrolling, and it allows time for more thoughts. What if I didn’t make it? No way, that’s not possible.

I reach the Os.

I’m not there.

In an instant, every snide look, every cold shoulder, every time anyone ever hurt me, assembles itself into—what I’m conservatively describing as—an atomic fireball of anger, hate, fury and rage. Can you believe these idiots? What moron said no to Sykosa? This is why humanity is going to go extinct, because people are so stupid they can’t see a good book when its staring them in the face! I’m so upset I don’t realize I’ve stopped in the middle of a crosswalk, people having to jar to circumvent me, car drivers impatiently staring like, This is why humanity is going to go extinct, because people are so stupid they can’t even cross the street! I stare and stare and stare at the PDF and I can’t believe it.

Sykosa—my novel—didn’t make the top 1,000 entries.

Then, I notice none of the names beginning with O are last names. It’s the same thing with the Ns and the Ms. Carefully, methodically… Who am I kidding? Like a crazed child forced to wait an hour to go Trick or Treating because their sibling is suffering a costume malfunction, I attack my smart phone as the Americans did Normandy, slamming at the screen again and again until I reached the Js.

“Justin Ordoñez – Sykosa.”

All I can say is that, upon seeing my name, I lost that which sets humans apart from our ape cousins. I jump, slamming my fist into my chest, thinking (but thankfully not shouting), Oh yeah! All the time, I knew it! Never any doubt, baby! As people stare at me in real concern, drivers wondering if this is the side-effect of a stroke, I spin several times, then throw my backpack to the ground—overwhelmed, overcome, over everything! I finally collect myself enough to leave the street, but my limbs are  shaking and I cannot stand still. I know enough to know, in five or six seconds, my facilities will return; for now, I might as well be a 6’4”, 230lbs infant. A coherent thought materializes. They alphabetized the list by first names instead of last. Wow, that was close. That was… Dear reader—in a calm, collected, cool manner, not at all with a psychotic eye twitch, frayed hair standing on end, and the menace of a man who compulsively lights and re-lights a cigarette lighter—I nearly fainted, experiencing near total psychosis and perhaps doing nothing else besides drooling a river onto myself.

They alphabetized the list by first names…

They alphabetized the list by…

They alphabetized…

They alphabi….

They alpha…

They….

OMG, WHO DOES THAT!?!?!?!?!?!? WHY IS THE UNIVERSE THIS WAY? IS THIS SOME KIND OF SICK GAME?!?!? ARE THEY WATCHING ME FROM THEIR SATELLITE FEEDS? LAUGHING? LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AND HIGH FIVING EACH OTHER? I DON’T UNDERSTAND! I DON’T UNDERSTAND! HOW COME MY MOM ALWAYS GAVE THE AFTERNOON SNACK TO MY SISTER BEFORE ME? SURE, WE GOT THE SAME SNACK, BUT IT HAS TO MEAN SOMETHING! IT HAS TO! AND WHY DIDN’T LYDIA SAY YES TO THAT DATE I ASKED HER ON IN SEVENTH GRADE? DOESN’T SHE KNOW WHAT SHE MISSED OUT ON? CAN’T SHE SEE HOW GREAT I AM? WHY DOESN’T ANYONE LOVE ME? WHY IS THE WORLD SO EMPTY? ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY. ALL WORK AND…

And…

And…

And that’s why I refer to the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award as the Destroyer of All Things Good and Pure and Beautiful. In what took a micro-second, I experienced what Robin William’s put so classically in Good Will Hunting, “You ripped my fucking life apart.” I’ve never been hurt like the Amazon corporation hurt me on that day. I’ve never been cut so deep, nor taken by such surprise—I know I love writing. Fifteen years of doing it every day, for free, and with nothing other than my passion, has taught me I love it, but I didn’t know I love it this much. I didn’t know I was so vulnerable. I didn’t know I could be so human. And now I’m a shattered version of my previously so sure self—pretending I’m not counting down the days until March 20^th when the next cut is released, to see if I’m there, to see if Sykosa can leap another hurdle.

Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award, I love you. I love you, and that’s why I hate you so much. And there’s nothing you can do to make it better.

Nothing.

(Well, winning would go a long ways to making things right…)

Justin Ordoñez is author of “Sykosa.” It’s a YA novel about a sixteen year old girl who’s trying to reclaim her identity after an act of violence shatters her life and the life of her friends. Intense as that sounds, it’s actually a fun read, and it’s hilarious at many points. It comes out in April 2^nd, 2012, and you can read an excerpt here: www.sykosa.com/excerpt.html. Also, to be notified when Justin releases more blog posts in the future, please “like” Sykosa’s facebook page at www.facebook.com/sykosanovel.

Thanks for visiting Justin! 

Check out the book. Follow the links above.